I feel really dumb admitting this, but after years of battling my 5 year old with her moods and attitudes, I finally realized she is me.
I may have been in denial all this time and ignoring my husband when he said it, but it hit me yesterday, my poor daughter learned it all from me.
For the first time in weeks, I woke up yesterday in a great mood. No grumpiness, no anxiety, just a good attitude.
I woke up on my own. It was 7:24 am. All the kids were still sleeping.
I got up, took care of the dogs, drank my coffee, cleaned up a bit. All in peace. No one screaming, no one reminding me every 5 seconds that they must be fed. Just me and the silence.
At about 8:00 am, my daughters bright and shiny faces came into the kitchen. I had their cereal poured, pancakes ready and I was willing to read them a book.
The baby was still asleep and both the girls were polite, patient and happy.
A vast difference from most days. Usually, it’s my 3 year old waking my 5 year old up before she is ready. This makes the 5 year old really grumpy.
Then they will charge through the house opening every door, including the baby’s in order to find an adult who is capable of performing their parenting duties.
Of course, waking up this way is super irritating and therefore I snap at them due to my body being in shock from the sudden kid alarm blaring all around me.
This in turn makes my 5 year old even more grumpy and the day usually goes downhill from there. The two of us locked all day long in a battle of wills.
Yesterday, however, was such a refreshing day and such a great reminder that I need to relax and basically be nice.
We even had to be at church by 10:00am and my daughter was helpful. She did everything I asked of her without putting up a fight. She earned some stars on our chart board for how awesome she was.
The rest of the day was so pleasant. Not one tantrum or attitude tirade every time I asked her to do something.
Today, wasn’t as blissful, but pretty good and way better than most days.
There was only one episode where she got really Hangry at me and then asked for food. That is also another charming personality trait she got from me.
Reflecting on these past two days made me realize, if I am pleasant and calm, she will be pleasant and calm…if I am a crazy person, she is a crazy person.
My child mimics my moods! Something I tend to do. If anyone around me is down or in a bad mood, I will be too. I did it growing up as well.
This epiphany has taken years to realize and knowing this, I can now continue my life as the perfect mom!
Well, no, probably not, but maybe it will help me to step back a breathe a bit more. You know, kind of check myself before I wreck myself…
It’s scary how everything we do and say as parents effects our kids and when you are with them 24/7, you really have no one to blame but yourself for how they turn out. Genetics and disorders aside.
So, the new challenge for myself is to just be a better person. Be patient with my kids and remember that they are always watching, always learning.