If you judged me by my minivan, you would think I was a total mess.
In truth, you wouldn’t be completely wrong.
In the past 2 days, I’ve had 2 different women seen the inside of my car and I was appalled that they had to be witnesses to my cave of filth.
When I’m embarrassed or uncomfortable, I always tend to make really bad jokes.
So, as they are staring at my mess and smelling whatever it is that’s making that horrific smell, I turned into a stand up comic trying to focus their attention elsewhere.
These are also those moms whose cars are immaculate despite the fact that the have a ton of kids. How they keep their cars clean is an anomaly to me.
Maybe my problem is that everywhere I drive takes at least 30 minutes. So to keep my kids from losing their minds I let them eat in the car.
My oldest had been given a trash bag since she is in the way back. She develops amnesia every time she gets in the car and has no idea what that bag hanging in her face is for.
So, instead of throwing her apple away nicely, I will find it and some of its friends underneath her seat after hunting down whatever is making the awful smell.
The toys. For some reason they feel the need to bring a toy with them wherever they go. They also can’t understand me when I tell them to bring those toys inside when we get home. My fault, I know, but in my desperation on most days to get out of the house, I would just about let them bring anything as long as they got in the car.
My daughters also refuse to wear their jackets in the car. So we always have at least 2 or 3 in there as well as random clothes and socks. I always find a few mismatched socks or a shirt and pants. This is head scratching to me because I can’t figure out when they got naked in the car.
I myself am as bad as my kids. Right now I have potting soil and bags of donations back there. They have been there for weeks. I cringe every time I see them. But do nothing about it.
I was less lazy at 10 months pregnant than I am today. My 5 year old even asks if we can clean it out sometimes but, I just don’t have the energy or time.
It’s amazing to me, the more kids you have, the more it gets harder to clean. As moms it’s like we surrender things in our lives one at a time. Our bodies, our minds, our alone time, our hobbies and our cleanliness. This last one was the hardest for me to give up. I’m starting to notice however that it no longer bothers me the way it use to, as long as no one outside my family has to whiteness it.