I have learned a lot since having my 3rd baby.
For some, when you have your first baby, you are scared and overwhelmed. You live each day on survival mode. You haven’t slept, you worry about your baby with each cry, scream, weird looking poop and refusal to eat.
You seem to have no concept of anyone except your baby. This includes your spouse. You don’t think you can possibly share yourself with anyone else. The baby takes it all. Your time, energy, body and basically soul.
As new parents you don’t seem to take a breath. To sit with your spouse and have a real conversation. Dates and alone time are out of the question. The connection you once had when you were sans baby and carefree is just not there at the moment.
You also don’t seem to have the time or energy to really see your spouse and all they do for your new little family. I know my focus was strictly on myself and what I was doing day by day.
Fast forward 5 years and on baby number 3.
By this time you finally get your act together (somewhat).
Baby number 3 is the baby that sends you into the “us against them” mode.
This is the baby that actually brought my husband and I closer. This is the baby that united us. That made us realize we were outnumbered.
By this point, a parent also starts to relax a little. You realize that you can do this, you can raise a baby and they will survive.
This is the time I started to really see my husband again. Really see all he does for our family. I see how he works so hard all day and then comes home to a household full of screaming kids (and wife). He gets the kids ready for bed and reads to them. He goes to bed early and wakes up at the crack of dawn so he can provide for us.
I’ve always loved my husband, but 5 years ago I was too tired and worn out to notice just how much he meant to me.
I wish I could go back and tell myself to relax, to not only enjoy my new baby but to also enjoy this new journey I was on with my husband.
I would realize that he was as stressed as I was. That he worried too.
We now take parenthood for what it is. Two adults trying to raise children without screwing them up too much. We have more fun with it. We laugh more and appreciate each other more. We have realized that life is too short and kids grow up too fast.
We need each other and now that the new baby blinders are off, we are really able to see each other again. I couldn’t have asked for a better life or a better man to share it with.