I know I have written a post about friends already, but that was a post specific to my Catholic mom friends. This is a little different.
This is a post about my dear friends that I have had, lost along the way and rekindled my friendships with.
I have never really had one specific “super best friend.” I’ve always had a group of really good friends, but I don’t have one best friend I’ve been friends with my whole life, like some people do.
It’s actually something I have wondered about many times before. I have come to the conclusion that most of the reason why I have never kept a “best friend” friendship, is because I never made the effort.
I do understand that through the years, people grow and change and move on. I did go to a different high school than all my elementary school friends and made new ones there.
I have to say, I am not good at keeping in touch. I don’t like to talk on the phone and sometimes I just get lazy. It’s too hard to keep up the friendships and although I consider myself an extrovert, I have gone through many times in my life when I just didn’t want to make the effort to socialize and go out with others.
Many times, I was too wrapped up in a boyfriend or honestly, had a bought of depression and I just didn’t want to (or couldn’t) try.
I have moved often as well. Many of my friends still live in my home state. They are able to get together with each other and continue their friendships.
I come back home about once or twice a year and always found it too hard to meet up, especially when I had kids. I never wanted to ask my parents to watch them and I don’t always travel with my husband.
After having my 3rd baby, I went through my usually post partum depression. I think with my 2 older girls it went on for about a year. With my son however, I was feeling pretty off balance for about 6 months before feeling more myself again.
I think this time around, it has a lot to do with my health. I am taking care of myself a lot more, no longer eating sugar, started an exercise program and am all around feeling good. I’m also more involved in my children’s school activities and have made friends who also have children and similar interests.
The funny thing that went along with me feeling good about myself, was me wanting to rekindle old friendships. I have been really wanting to know what is going on with people and have paid more attention to their stories over social media.
I have come across many long lost friends who actually have a lot in common with me. People I actually wouldn’t have gotten to know in the past, I realize that they are pretty awesome and interesting people.
When I knew I was going to be visiting my family this time around, I reached out to a few old friends and have been getting together with them. No more excuses, no more making plans, then breaking them.
I have been able to see a dear friends new baby and catch up with high school friends as well as a college roommate. I have meet people’s children and my children have played with them.
These meet ups have really been special to me. These old friends have really grown into fantastic women, women that I wish I could live closer to because I would actually love them to be in my life now.
Excuses have a way of taking over our lives. For me, I was always good at pushing friends aside. Never making them a priority. Not getting too close or too involved.
I regret that. I regret that it took me 20 years to realize how important friendships are and how beneficial they can be.
Something I’d like to teach my children is to value people. Family, friends, loved ones are all special. Don’t push them aside, don’t take for granted that these people will always be there.
Who knows, maybe I wouldn’t have had such a hard time after my pregnancies if I had kept in touch. If I had the support I needed to get through the hard times. If I had been more open to people.