When it’s just too much…

This was my daily prayer book prayer for today:

“Lord, in all my thoughts, words, and actions, protect me from the sins of rash judgement and anger. Especially when I am feeling frustrated and wronged, slow me down and keep me cool.”

And of course, I have completely disregarded this prayer today.

As a parent we often do things or sign our kids up for things thinking, “wow, great idea, my kids will totally love that!”

Hahahahaha

So, it’s summer and of course I signed my girls up for swim lessons.

As I’ve written before, I have some issues with my oldest. She has a tendency to lose her mind sometimes and I don’t always know how to deal with it.

I signed my girls up for swim lessons and today when they realized they weren’t in the same swim class, my oldest had a fit, therefore freaking out my 3 year old. Well, my 3 year old refused to participate in her class.

We tried everything, but unfortunately I didn’t bring my suit and had the baby, so I couldn’t get in with her.

As a mom living in expensive Virginia where we have to pay a lot for everything, I’m thinking, “great, I just spent money for swim lessons my daughter won’t do.” 😫

Super!

The teacher at one point asked me if she could just hold  my daughter and ease her in the water. I said yes, thinking she may actually warm up to it.

Again, wrong!

She was screaming and my 5 year old was so upset and started berating me, screaming that I was “the worst mom in the world, ” over and over. It was so embarrassing!  😫

In my mind I’m screaming, “shut up!!!!!!” But, in reality I had to just ignore her. So hard!

After the lesson, we had to wait 30 min for my 5 year olds lessons. Fine, we will swim in the kiddie pool next to swim lessons pool. I go to pay and find out that I have to physically swim with my kids, swim suit and all. I wanted to scream!

Of course there were  kids swimming without their parents and had parents who didn’t have the decency to pay for it when they were supposed to.

But, I didn’t rat those parents out, but did tell the woman that the facility was ridiculous. Cause, that’s how I roll when I freak out. Not good!

For the next 15 min before her class my oldest asked repeatedly if it was her turn. I ignored her, she kept asking.

I would like to ask for a do over. Like so many days, I find  as my kids are growing and going through different stages in their lives, I’m having a hard time.

Days like this, I feel like I’m failing. I seriously wish a manual was written. A manual to spell out what I should say or do in every situation, with every type of personality.

My 3 year old, who is usually so lovely, has lately been pushing her boundaries, a lot!

So, today when I wouldn’t give her Doritos at 10:30 am, she told me I’d better do it or she was going to “knock my head off…”

This, is what I’ve got to deal with today and I want to go back to bed.

There punishment was no playground after swim lessons, but, like I do often, I caved and right now we are at the playground, only because the day is too beautiful and I just can’t bear to go home right now.

The only positive note is that usually when we have a blowout, none of us have any more energy to continue the fight the rest of the day.

You know, I try and take each morning before the kids wake up and pray and read a short devotional. I ask God for patience and grace. I ask that I can be kind and speak gently to my kids. But, it seems that everyday my temper gets the best of me and I forget everything I asked for.

It is really frustrating.

So here’s to praying the day continues without anymore issues and that I can remember to stop and think before I lose my mind again.

(Before the difficult swim class experience)

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