A transformation is in order…

I sat down this morning to begin this post after my two daughters were making me laugh.

As I started writing, I realized, everything I was saying, is something I have already said before.

My material is no longer new, humorous or worth writing about.

For so long, moms had told me how much they enjoy my blog. I would receive a high number of “likes” on Facebook when I would post it.

But, I am starting to notice, this is no longer happening and I think I know why.

I just don’t have much to say anymore.

My life has been pretty chaotic.  I was excited for the summer to come so my world would slow down a bit, but I am afraid,  so far this summer has been just as busy.

And I have had nothing to post. Nothing that I feel is of any significance. Nothing helpful or even remotely interesting.

Ive been spending a lot of time trying to find my voice. I know, that’s probably something I should have established when I first started blogging.

My intention when I first started blogging was to write about my life. The every day things I was doing, my faith, my children, Heath and fitness, my gardening, my homeschooling. But for me, the most successful posts were always the ones about my girls. My frustrations with them, my successes with them and so on.

So why now is it just too hard?

Why is it like pulling teeth to get a post written?

It’s because I’m stuck. I cornered myself into being a mom blogger whose only identity was her children. A blogger who was unable to branch out in fear that no one wanted to hear anything else.

Instead of being a woman of all trades, I became just a stay at home mom complaining about her kids.

So, what do I do now? How do I change, evolve into the blogger I truly want to be?

How do I start writing for myself and not for others?

I feel my only choices at this point are to either quit (which, I don’t want to do) or start experimenting.

Kind of write about different aspects of my life and whatever I feel makes me the happiest, I’ll go with. But, maybe, it will all make me happy and readers will have to suffer through my disorganized life, right along with me.

Who knows, maybe I have other interesting topics to write about, maybe I will get controversial or really deep (probably not).

Maybe I will become an expert at giving advice on marriage or I will give running tips. I guess at this point, the possibilities are endless.

I don’t know or understand the reasoning behind my transformation. I’ve written a few posts on my dreams and wants and all that. So, why the contemplating?

I actually feel like God is trying to tell me something, but I can’t quite figure out (probably because I’m not listening) what it is he’s saying.

I hope however, by not holding myself back, I can find what I’m looking for. What it is I really want to say.

I will apologize up front if it’s just as agonizing for others as it is for me.

But, who knows, maybe you will find that I’m quite interesting.

We shall see.

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