Being a mother is both gratifying and hard.
Nobody prepares you for all the sacrifices you give or for all the sleepless nights you endure.
Something like, coming home after being away for 2 hours and having your child be so happy to see you and having them wrap their arms around you so tightly is gratifying. But, taking an hour to get them down for a nap, because they don’t want you to leave them, is hard.
I know being a mother is my vocation. I love being a mother and I love my children. I often think about Mary and how she would handle frustrating situations. I have a feeling huffing and grumbling under her breath was not something that she was doing.
No, I am positive Mary was not one to complain. She was without sin and she was far more superior as a mother than I could ever be.
She wasn’t irritated when her son needed her attention. She was probably happy to sit with him while he napped in her arms. She knew the true reason for being a mother. She wasn’t worried about whether or not her kitchen would get cleaned, if she could go out for a couple of hours alone or whether she had time to write a blog post that day.
Mary was not without suffering. She suffered a great deal as a mother. But, she trusted in God and knew what she was doing was the most important thing in the world.
Why can’t I understand that being a mother is the most important thing that I will ever do? Why cant I wrap my head around the fact that God has given me these children so that I may raise them to love and serve him.
I pray everyday for the Lord to guide me. I also ask Mary daily to pray for me and to show me how to be a good mother. I know though that as soon as I am done with these prayers, my mind is immediately on to other things. Such as all the cleaning and errands I must do that day.
I pray for patience, but don’t stop to listen for the guidance that I am so hungry for.
I don’t know when and if that will ever change. I don’t know if I will ever get it together enough to be calm and still for more that 2 seconds. It’s sadly not in my nature at this point in my life.
I have to keep reminding myself though, these are the important years. These years, where I am in charge of their development are so special and I need to cherish and mentally be there to guide them.
I love these children and need for them to be my top priority. I need to stop worrying about all the trivial things throughout my day and focus on them.
So what if I can’t leave my baby alone with anyone right now. Like I said, this is my vocation. I was called to take care of and raise these kids.
Mary was called to do the hardest job of all. To raise the son of God and to see him die on the cross for us.
This thought blows my mind. I have no words when I imagine what she must have felt. How she must have cherished every moment she had with him.
As mothers, this is it. We have one chance to be there and to raise these kids. We have one chance to really enjoy this moment before they no longer need us.
As hard as motherhood is, I know nothing in my life will ever be as important or gratifying as raising these kids.